Stevie Ray might call me a Fruit Booty

My girlfriend likes to boast about only eating meat once or twice a week. I fail to see the accomplishment in that. The only reason I don't always eat meat is because a lot of meat dishes are fattening and I'm vain. Oh, I'm also poor. I'm not extremely poor, just plain old lower middle class poor. If I was poor poor, I'd eat more "meat" because most of my meals would consist of spam and other mystery meats. Fortunately, I can afford chicken. But even chicken is like a bajillion times more expensive than celery. So I've learned to adapt and be healthy. Since I can't eat bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast, here are some vegetables I've learned to appreciate. Onions are left off the list because everything has onions.

Spinach: It makes for a pretty good omelette and eggs are dead animals if you believe in god. Just sayin.

Beets: Is this technically a vegetable? I don't care. Beets are delicious and get bonus points for not being green. I also like making beet hummus when I have access to a blender. Aaaaand my testicles just fell out. Let me squeeze those bad boys back in there. Moving on...

Eggplant/Zucchini/That yellow squash I'm pretty sure they just call yellow squash: I make lots of stir fries because they're easy and spicy asian sauces are the tits. I have yet to make a stir fry that suffered from adding squash.

Brussels Sprouts: These little guys get a worse rap than broccoli, which I also enjoy. I like looking sophisticated when I cook these properly, like that time one and only time I cooked brussels sprouts properly.

Okra: It's kinda smily, so people fry it. Mmm, thin excuses to fry things.

If you're wondering where corn is, it's in Nebraska.