What's the point?

Why do they put nudity heavy movies on television? Nobody watches Species for the alien.; they don't even watch it for Alfred Molina (he's totally in that movie). People watch Species because it hearkens back to a simpler time when Natasha Henstridge was that chick who got naked in every scene in Species. Oh, that brings me back.

Species actually has a special place in my heart because I saw it by accident in what has to be the most serendipitous moment in multiplex history. There I was, all set to subject my poor father to sitting through Judge Dredd. Unfortunately, Judge Dredd was all sold out.


Awful. Just awful.

So, we were stuck looking for the most suitable alternative to a Stallone shlockfest. What were we to do? "Hey, that poster has an alien on it," we probably said to each other. "Let's give this Species movie a shot." Seven million sex scenes later, you had one slightly embarrassed father and the happiest ten year old boy in New York City.


Muuuch better

Oh, dear, I seem to have gotten sidetracked. Getting back to the point I was making, I know there is an unspoken rule that you can only show terrible movies on tv, but there are dozens, nay, hundreds of movies that achieve this without nudity. If you show, say, Rush Hour 2 or The Butterfly Effect, you still get to disappoint viewers without the additional letdown of editing out the boobs. Ooh, Basic Instinct is on AMC.! Ah, nuts.