But I know better than Rush Limbaugh (he's just got more money)

In the midst of my roundabout circus of  sports observations, I might wish that James could interject with some sort of soccer analysis. If he gets mad at me for putting him on blast, then the previous sentence will be deleted before our reader sees it. With the Champions League final approaching (be objective James!) and the World Cup only (gasp!) one year away, I'd say soccer deserves a decent quality level of coverage. Thus, I will leave it alone for now. As much as I'd like to analyze any other sport, I will keep in my theme of seasonal dependant analysis, and thus tak briefly, very briefly about the most frustrating sport in the world (Placed in the context of being a fan, not playing it, otherwise the answer would be golf).

Part 2

Baseball (MLB):

I've begun to question whether my favorite team will ever make the playoffs in my lifetime. Wondering about a World Series is just a pipe dream at this point. Yes, the Baltimore Orioles are in what is often the toughest division in baseball, but despite every other team in the AL East making it to the world series since I've been watching sports, let's be very clear about one thing: Every year, the Orioles play the most games against the two best teams in baseball. Sure they spend 19 gagillion dollars a day on mediocre 1st basemen, but it's long been determined that Baltimore's fate has been determined by being squeezed between the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox. Such is geography I guess. <---But Texas is in the west division, Houston and Pittsburgh in the central, Toronto in the east, despite being almost adjacent to Detriot, another central team. Which brings me to my most important point:

Baseball sucks.

Any sport where every analyst, pundit, and fan refuses to let a single topic besides steroids gain any significant amount of attention blows hard. It's not just that steroids absolutely has to be the most important issue of discussion for an unforseen number of years, it's that it comes with a mandatory and repulsive amount of righteousness. 

On the contrary, I respect that I can get a ticket minutes before a game starts on a beautiful spring day for only 8 dollars. Perhaps it would be different if I supported a winning team. 

How long until Adam Jones is wearing pinstripes? I can only hope that the big bad boss gets to Longoria first.

So yes, it looks like another season where I won't have a single playoff team to root for, not my favorite team, my 2nd favorite (Washington) or even that small swath of teams that I sorta don't hate: Astros, Twins, Giants, Royals. If you don't have sympathy for the Royals, it's pacemaker time. I guess the Brewers are tolerable, but upon writing that, I've doomed them to whatever position in the NL Central doesn't get you into the playoffs. 3rd, 4th? Who cares?

In an effort for this to be disguised as some sort of reasonable analysis instead of a disconcerting rant, here are the teams currently in the top 2 of their respective divisions (I'll highlight the teams that actually have a chance of winning a playoff series): 

Toronto, Boston, Detroit, Kansas City, Texas, Philadelphia, New York Mets, Milwaukee, St Louis, Los Angeles, San Diego

I probably highlighted 2 or 3 too many. I think St Louis will win the World Series, but what do I know? It's a shame they don't have some sort of stipulation that if an awful team like the White Sox, Dodgers, Indians, Pirates, Blue Jays, etc. win the World Series, then the Yankees, Phillies, Mets, Braves and Red Sox are banned from playing for the next year. That would get me into the game real hard. Pitching used to be important in baseball, even integral. Sigh.

Here are some records which baseball needs someone to make a run at breaking:

Joe Dimaggio---56 consecutive games hit safely (1941)

Hugh Nicol---138 stolen bases (1887)

Dutch Leonard---0.96 e.r.a. (1914)    Tim Keefe had a .85 era in 1880, but I've single handedly determined 12 games pitched isn't enough for my criteria. The 2nd lowest thus wins. Also, I don't understand why baseball picks and chooses which records to ignore. The stats compiled in the late 19th century are appalingly in depth for a society which had a lot bigger issues to deal with. Thus, they are real, and so why does MLB ignore these "accomplishments"? Baseball sucks.

George Strief & Bill Joyce---tied, 4 triples in one game (1885 and 1897)

Roger Clemens, Kerry Wood, & Randy Johnson---tied, 20 strikeouts in one game (1996, 1998, and 2001)

Rick Honeycutt, Gene Walter, & Bobby Witt---tied, 4 balks in one game (1988)

New York Giants vs Philadelphia Phillies---quickest baseball game played, 51 minutes (1919)