Some jerkass once said there's no such thing as a stupid question. That guy probably didn't talk to any stupid people. I get asked a lot of questions. Some of them are not of exceptional intelligence. These are some of those questions.
Do you have a moment for [insert cause here]? No, I don't have time. I read your precious NPR and sign petitions online. Now fuck off.
Do you have the time? Do you own a cell phone?
Are all those dogs yours? Yes, I own four dogs. I also have seventeen cats, three hamsters, a chimpanzee and three dozen goldfish. Did I mention I live in a mansion?
How do I get to [really easy to find New York landmark]? First step is saying excuse me. Aren't you supposed to think New Yorkers are surly? If you're too selfish to be polite about it, I will never give you directions. If you are exceptionally rude, I might even send in the wrong direction. (Yes, I have done this.)
Do you want to do me a favor? Of course not.
Will you me a favor? Probably. What can I say? I'm a nice guy like that.
No comments:
Post a Comment