Also...

Thanks to Wicked Chops Poker for taking notice of us and commenting. You guys have been a great source of entertainment to me for some time. I tried to kiss up to you in an email but your server would have none of it. So, if you're reading this right now, consider this my shameless attempt and getting a link on your site. If you guys are feeling generous, I promise more posts, including a Retroactive Babe of the Week for at least three months. When I say retroactive, keep in mind that I am only 24. So it will be more along the lines of Anna Kournikova and other women I ogled in Maxim during junior high than Racquel Welch and whoever the hell else was considered a sex symbol in the 60s. That being said, how can I not do this without eventually getting to Marilyn Monroe? Certain beauty never goes out of style.

A sneak preview of sorts

As some (most?) of you know, I'm a week and a half away from skipping town for good and driving across the country to LA. This means many things for my life which I won't bother getting into just yet. As for this blog, it means I might keep a travel journal for a later post, I might come out of my trip with a renewed passion for blogging, or I might fall off the face of the earth for an unknown amount of time. The possibilities are endless! In light of my very busy schedule prior to leaving town, here is a scatterbrained post with a few random thoughts and some teasers for posts I may or may not get to before I leave.

- I'm going to do my best to say something about the Oscars before the academy breaks my heart and doesn't honor Mickey Rourke. I've had almost a month to brace myself for disappointment and I still might cry when he gets robbed in favor of Sean Penn. Penn was incredible in Milk, but Mickey Rourke is nothing short of perfect in The Wrestler. Other than that, Slumdog BLAH BLAH I hate Penelope Cruz so much BLAH BLAH Benjamin Button is Forrest Gump 2 and I still love it BLAH BLAH Still mad about The Dark Knight getting snubbed BLAH BLAH Wall-E melts my heart BLAH BLAH Hugh Jackman will suck.

- Chris Brown needs to go to jail, right?

- I was already disturbed by the octuplet lady simply for getting pregnant when she already had six kids. Of course, I didn't know she'd done this all via in vitro fertilization. I wish more people could have seen my reaction when I learned this. It was one of those pure moments where if I was a cartoon, my head would have exploded.

- Why am I not utilizing the brilliance that is Google and it's many applications? Why aren't we all doing it? I will consider myself a failure until I remedy this.

- What's that cliche? Great minds think alike? Then it should not be considered a coincidence that my rekindled love with Monthy Python and the Holy Grail* coincides with Gatorade, excuse me, G's new ad campaign. Check it out:
http://www.missiong.com/show/Quest-for-G
I am in love with this. Even if you're not too keen on Monty Python (shame on you!) it's still wildly entertaining. Some genius in the Gatorade... er, G offices had the courage to ask Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to play the Enchanter. And it has Jabbawockeez! If you don't know these guys, all you need to know about their brilliance is Shaq danced with them at the All Star Game and shall now be called the Big Jabbawockee. I Heart U Shaq.

*Is this the funniest movie ever made? I've been thinking about this for a solid day and I can't think of anything better. Blazing Saddles is the only one I'd consider debating about right now. If any of you people reply to this with some bullshit like Wedding Crashers, I'm putting you on friendship probation. I'm talking to you, TBK!

- Don't think I forgot about my Superbowl MVP prediction. It took me a whole season, but I finally nailed one. Congrats to the Steelers, I guess.

Update: Less than a week after declaring Irish people are genetically inclined to overusing the word "brilliant," I managed to use "brilliance" twice in this post without even noticing. I guess I can live with being a living, breathing stereotype if it means my arbitrary declarations have some truth to them.

*

I should note that I did not win the Razz FTOPS event, nor was my earlier post intended to imply that I did anything meaningful at all in poker today, or that I am good at cards. I will not play said FTOPS event, as it seems like a sure fire way to ruin a Friday night.

I'd sooner watch a King of Queens marathon.

...

Maybe not King of Queens, but definitely a City Guys marathon. 

Don't even try to pretend like you don't remember TNBC.

It happened (Razz)

I won a razz tournament. Holy crap. 

Yes, the competition was incredibly soft, but being that I don't live in Vegas, that's most razz tournaments for me. I'm a little bit in shock, more so than if it was horse or stud8. 

Granted it was only an online event, but since playing razz is usually the worst experience on Earth, I feel pretty decent. I had a maniac stealer to my right all day, but that actually worked out to my advantage, and apparently no one else in the tournament ever put him on a steal. The heads up portion was against him, but somehow he was kind enough  not to raise me every time I had the bring in, even though he was the most aggressive razz player I've ever seen in a MTT. Thanks, bud. I play a lot of razz heads up sngs against these two maniacs from Russia, so I got enough practice to school him pretty hard heads up. I only sucked out once all tournament, and it was in the final two. 

Some notes:

I smell terrible. 

Fuck Razz.

I have carpal tunnel from excessive shuffling of some chips I have laying around. Good anti-tilt remedy though.

And now the obligatory complaining about FullTilt:

1. The structure is balls. The ante is constantly 1/12th or less of the upper betting limit, and out of all the mixed games heads up and multi table tournments I play, the highest I ever see the ante at is 1/10th of the big bet, and that's only for like one level out of every two or three hourse.

2. Conversely, the limits move at an insane pace (of course), and I assume it's in FullTilt's interest to move games along as quickly as possible. People play like hyper aggressive maniacs or loose calling stations in razz tourneys, so why not at least have the ante be 10% or more of the big bet at least a few levels in the tournament? People seem to have no problem making thin steal attempts (even in a razz online event, like anyone will fold), and I myself had to steal to stay afloat at the final table full of tight players. I am positive raising the ante will improve the game and add a level of texture which I believe would make the game more skill dependent, as players would be forced to shift gears back and forth. As it is now, I rarely see players attempt to adapt at all within the course of one event, and maybe they don't have to, with these gawful structures. GAWFUL.

3. Full Tilt has H.O.R.S.E., H.O.S.E., and H.E.R.O.S. cash tables (thought the latter two see absolutely NO action beneath the 1000/2000 levels it seems), and the games change every ten hands. A reasonable approach, I think. Meanwhile, ever single mixed game tournament I've ever witnessed on FullTilt changes the games and levels based on time, whether it be 3, 6, 10, 12, or 15 minutes (the latter constituting what full tilt believes is a "deep" structure I guess. As it is, the hands take forever, and with players generally being clueless, the problem is excasberated. Plus, players are so loose, and pots have so many people in them, that the two split pot games have hands that take REALLY LONG. It's not rare to see a Stud8 portion have about three hands played. As such, I truly believe these mixed game tournaments and sit and goes become limit holdem tournaments, with a few hands of other games splashed in. This irks me to no end. I don't see how it's unreasonable to have like one horse tournament a week or something miniscule like that change levels and games by # of hands, as the cash games are run. 

Hopefully my next rant will be about something meaningful, like Judd Gregg or Chris Brown. 

PA-BLAAAAAM!!!!! WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE BITCHES!!!!!!

Make way.  Make way.  For I have arrived!  After 100 posts with two types of hot sauce on everything, shit starts tasting a bit mild, eh?  Well this is post #101 and I shall reheat this mother with some Totally Brash Knockouts!  

TBK!

Need my credentials?  I have a graduate degree in the NBA.  Majors in Poker & Movies.  Minors in the MLB & Photography.  No high school degree.  I am a certified Apple & Tech nerd.  I'm from New York Fucking City.  I live in Los Angeles.  Go Knicks (go lakers too... eeek).  Go Yankees.  Go Phil Ivey.  And I have a 1,000,000 to 0 undefeated record against James and Ed!  So bring it!

Lebron James sucks! No one really cares that A-Rod took steroids! Kobe is god! Paul Pierce is the worst of the Boston Three Party! Steve Nash should not have any MVPs! The Clippers are cursed! 2K9 blows Live out the water!

Again, my name is TBK.  Nice to meet you.  I'll be back after ALL STAR WEEKEND to talk about how a 5' 7" man out-dunked Dwight Howard.

**Mwhaaaa**

Fuuuuuuuck!

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3890785

I'm too shocked to say anything meaningful. What a terrible thing to wake up to.

It's Working!

I'm sure most of are far too busy being employed and having friends to take notice of every good commercial on tv. Lucky for you, I have no life. So enjoy these two little bundles of joy that make my day a little easier every time they pop up.






That truly is Shaqtastic. Freeze the video at 11 seconds to observe all the Shaqalicious glory on the Scrabble board. How have they not made a Shaq version of Scrabble? Oh, I know why. The Scrabble people are a miserable bunch of cheapskate fools who sue people for making Facebook applications of their game. Get with the 21st Century, most likely dead creator of Scrabble.