Go Pistons?

First and foremost, I have to brag a little bit. When I made my first post a week ago I shared this little tidbit of insight:
"I've got very little to say about the Western Conference Finals. The Spurs make me so bored I want to punch myself. It's starting to look like an easy win for the Lakers. This could all change in San Antonio but don't be surprised if this series only lasts 5 games."
Okay, I didn't solve world hunger or anything cool like that but I'm still pleased with this prediction. I don't care about Kobe Bryant or the Lakers at all but I'm positively ecstatic about having an entertaining team in the Finals. The more troubling issue for me is weighing the pros and cons of whichever team wins the East.

Until the Knicks find a way to effectively wash away the stench of Isiah Thomas from The Garden, the Pistons will continue to be the only team I care about in the playoffs. Couple that with my contempt for all things Boston and I should be overwhelmingly in favor of Detroit. However, a Pistons-Lakers Finals will inevitably lead to endless clips of Isiah Thomas. I can't put into words how sick it will make me to be force-fed images of a happy and victorious Isiah Thomas. I can't do it. I can't enjoy watching the NBA Finals if every other commercial makes me want to shoot the tv and/or myself. On the other hand, a Celtics-Lakers Finals will bring hours of classic highlights and probably the best commercials this side of the Superbowl. This could actually make up for having no team to root for.

There's no way I will actually support a Boston team and I do genuinely like the Pistons so I'm sticking with them. I said they would win and I still believe that to be true. As long as they take care of business tonight, I like their chances in Game 7. I know the Celtics have already played two of them in as many series, but that doesn't come close to matching Detroit's experience. And I don't think home court advantage means much in Game 7. Jeff Van Gundy doesn't think home court advantage means anything at all. I love him to such.

The only major problem I could see for the Pistons is if Rasheed Wallace picks up a technical foul and gets suspended. Can they just tape his mouth shut tonight? I'm completely serious. Flip Saunders should tell all of the other Pistons players they have free reign to smack Sheed across the face any time he so much as looks at the refs. Other than that they should be fine. Oh, yeah. Here's hoping Billups is only as hurt as he's letting off.

One more thing: Most of what I said won't matter in two weeks because the Lakers are clearly winning the championship, right?

Saturn Poker

As reported by Cardplayer Magazine, the Nevada Gaming Commission has just approved a new form of poker to be spread in casinos. This new game, allegedly called "Royal Hold'em," is Texas Hold'em played with only tens through aces. Other than that, "Royal Hold'em" is played out just like regular Texas Hold'em with a limit betting structure. I've been using parentheses because whoever "invented" this game totally stole my idea that, in hindsight, I should have trademarked or patented on done whatever it is you do to legally claim ownership over a poker game. Is that even possible? Probably not.

Edmund and I played this game while living together in college. But we called it Saturn Poker (don't ask why) and played it no-limit because we're awesome. As you can imagine, this made for a much more exciting game. Although the "inventor" of "Royal Hold'em" has probably never even heard of me, I will never forgive him/her for stealing my game and ruining it. I wish I had some kind of video evidence of this so I could at least petition the NGC to change the name to Saturn Poker. On a more positive note, now I have a suitable alternative to 1/2 no-limit when I inevitably go to Vegas. Also, my opponents will never get a read on me because they'll be too concerned with figuring out what exactly Saturn Poker is and why I keep saying I'm one of the most experienced players in the world.

Q-U-A-G-M-I-R-E

I was planning on writing a rundown of the Celtics-Pistons game last night but the first half alone was too disheartening to warrant any serious attention to the rest of the game. How can the Celtics play so inconsistently and actually have a chance to win the NBA Championship? The idea of Doc Rivers getting rewarded for the job he's doing is kind of depressing. There was really nothing of note during the actual game so here are two non-game moments I thoroughly enjoyed:

1. The Pistons' mock Poltergeist pre-game video was so bizarre/disturbing. Highlights of the Pistons' previous Conference Finals appearances played over eerie music and then turned into a fuzzy tv with Rasheed Wallace sitting on the couch yelling "We're baaaaaaack!" with a huge, toothy grin that quickly turned into a demonic laugh. I wasn't sure whether to laugh hysterically or hide in the closet. All I know is I can't imagine any possible situation in which I would want Rasheed Wallace laughing at me.

2. Mark Jackson ripped on Jeff Van Gundy for using the word "quagmire" (8 whole letters? Way too much for the viewing public) and that lead to this wonderful Van Gundy rant:

"Q-U-A-G-M-I-R-E! I had to take my SATs to get into college! Who took yours for you, Mark Jackson?"

I love Jeff Van Gundy. I don't think there will ever be a more awkward basketball commentator. It's almost unfair to the real fans to hear Van Gundy. He's such a whiney dork that he must be giving false hopes to thousands of overeducated, jaded basketball fans every day. No, complaining about the current state of the NBA will not get you a job. Oh, dear. Why did I go and write that? Now I have to reevaluate this whole get rich quick scheme blog.

Oh, yeah

For the non-sports audience, and god willing you guys will come, Joakim Noah was a rookie forward for the NBA's Chicago Bulls. He won 2 national championships with the University of Florida.

I really, really, don't like the Gators. You'll hear about this in October, in replacement of election coverage I'm sure.

Sunday

Joakim Noah was arrested in Gainesville, FL. Apparently, he was walking down a sidewalk with a open plastic cup (solo brand?), with an "amber drink" inside. They police also found some marijuana in his pocket, not aware how much.

I really hope people don't make a deal out of this. But sports media is ridiculous. If you have experienced the wide world of political punditry, from Bill O'Reilly to Tucker Carlson that creepy big guy who hosts Meet the Press, you can understand the pain of watching "experts" focus on the most inane topics for hours on end, following suit on whatever conventional opinion fits their standard modus operandi. Pardon the diatribe. While sports media as a whole in my opinion is much more insightful and articulate than that of politics, the over-dramatization of silly things can get a bit irritating, and not just because these people lack a sense of humor.

Joakim Noah wasn't even fuckin driving! How good is that? He was walking around with a cup of beer and a dime bag in his pocket. In his old college town. It wasn't even Jose Cuervo, for God's
sake.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

James is right

This concept for how to do the WSOP final table is ridiculous. While there may well be multiple benefits to some, "outside the box" thinking alone just doesn't it for me. It just seems like someone decided to trade the grueling and rewarding end of a long tournament for some advertising revenue. People will soon discover why this is such a bad move.

For the non-poker audience, this would be like playing the final hole at The Masters around Halloween. If that makes any sense.

On the plus side, think of the Milwaukee's Best Light commercials we'll be able to see!

Poker Sucks

*In case anybody might have gotten confused, I made my previous posts on Edmund's account. I'm now registered as a contributor so I'll be posting on my own account from now on. 

I bubbled a fairly large online tournament this afternoon. 108 spots paid and I had the honor of finishing 111th. Since I only play about three real tournaments a month these days, it was extra painful this time around. Things started off exceptionally well. It helped getting dealt Aces three times- and busting people out on each of those occasions-  but I played some pretty solid poker between said Aces and found myself in the top ten in chips at the first break. Then it all fell apart. I'm not sure what happened exactly, but I just couldn't win a pot to save my life and by the time we were getting close to the money I was in the bottom quarter of the standings. I hadn't played a hand in three or four rounds so I felt I had a good shot at taking down the blinds and antes (which equaled about 20% of my stack) by pushing with Ace-Jack suited under the gun. Unfortunately, I ran into Ace-King and that was that. Blah. 

While I'm talking about poker, I guess I should mention that the World Series (of Poker, not baseball, darts, dice or otherwise) starts in a week. I'm excited to see what happens with the new $10000 events. But I'm still not over the fact that they're playing the final table of the main event in November. Really? What are those guys- maybe even a woman or women for the first time ever- supposed to do for four months? I see how they can justify things by putting the prize money in an interest bearing account and giving the players a chance to get fair endorsement deals, but the bottom line is that Harrah's and ESPN are doing this to build hype for better ratings and it destroys any purity that is left in poker. Before I was just bothered by this. Now I'm mad. Poker sucks.

If I was Secretary of Agriculture...

I'm flying from San Francisco to Philadelphia tomorrow. I don't think small talk on airplanes is as bad as it's made out to be, not because small talk is great (and it is!), but because the atmosphere of flying suits it with such comfort. Mutual agreement in complaining about stuff, ordering a Bloody Mary, and being happy a strange looking thing made of metal and Good Housekeeping magazines can get you across he country and avoid Connecticut all at the same time. Plus, you will never see these people again. There is a chance you (a non-regular flier) could be in the same airport as a few of these people again, but no way will you ever run into someone you had small talk with at an airport or on a plane unless you try. Hell, you might not even recognize them if you did.
But you won't. That's what's so great.
All being said, I sadly have never flown on an international flight, and can only wonder with pitiful imagination if small talk for 13 hours is really as annoying as it sounds.

I will never start a sentence on this blog with, "As an aside..."
Ray Allen should NOT be benched for James Posey. You must see the clarity in this. Allen is perhaps the best in-game shooter of the last ten years, and maybe the best big-game shooter. Fred Hoiberg not withstanding, of course. Almost certainly the best shooter that has an all-around game, and has proven himself to be clutch in the past. I do not see Chauncey Billups winning the series for Detroit, and I think Rip Hamilton would blow by James Posey like Kennedy to an MTV camera crew, Posey's success in Miami still considered.

Class

That's what it's all about here, really. From the single dads and ex-retirees toiling in the mail room to the carnivorous ad execs on the 26th floor, I can assure you it's a polished production at fancythoughts.

Re: Tayshaun Prince vs. Paul Pierce

Looking back at where I talked about Tayshaun Prince vs. Paul Pierce, I got this quasi-brilliant idea:

What if classic matchups were commemorated with trading cards? They could be sold like Marvel Cards with special holograms for all-time great showdowns like Magic vs. Bird. They could even have special edition "feud" of "beef" cards like Shaq vs. Kobe. I'm pretty sure this could single-handedly reinvigorate the trading card industry. I wish this was my job. More to come on this later.

James

Friendships

Hello Friends and welcome to Fancy Thoughts!

Being as this is our very first posting expect there to be a lot of changes going on here (such as the name and layout) but for now I can tell you we will be focusing on sports, media, culture and friendship. Our initial postings will come mainly in the form of rants and raves but as time goes you can expect to see more order and clarity to everything. That being said, I've got a few thoughts about the NBA so you can consider this the first rant.

If the Hawks can upgrade over Mike Bibby (easier than you think) and convince Josh Smith to stop being such a jerk (harder than you think?) they will become the official up-and-coming team of the Eastern Conference. 

If the Sixers insist on building their team around Andre Iguodala, they will very quickly lose their status as the official up-and-coming team of the Eastern Conference. I love watching him play but he's just not the type of player to lead a legitimate playoff contender. 

I like Mike D'Antoni. I really do. IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK! It's not that I don't think the Knicks can properly adjust their roster to suit his strengths. I just see too many variables coming into play during the adjustment period from absolute disgrace to rebuilding franchise to LeBron James/Dwayne Wade & Co. D'Antoni just left a title contender because he was unhappy with management. How is going to handle Big Brother and his little media cronies at the Garden? Can he really handle the daily scrutiny that will surely come with losing in New York? Sigh. Much more to come on this later.

So Isiah Thomas is still employed with no real position or responsibility with the Knicks. With the amount of money he's due to make, it's only fair that the Knicks season ticket holders be allowed to vote on his new role. Some recommendations:

Make him the halftime entertainment. The Isiah Dunk Tank (you know, for kids), The Isiah Public Stoning, shooting him out of a cannon into the backboard or having him do the tango with Stephon Marbury are all acceptable ideas.
Have him be a ticket scanner and/or hot dog seller.

With all the hype around the Sheed-KG matchup in the East Finals, I think I might the only person more excited about Tayshaun Prince vs. Paul Pierce. On a similar note, if the Pistons win, which I said they would before winning game 2, it will be due to Rondo's inability to contain Billups and I think it's totally unfair if anybody blames him for it. The dude is 22 and he had a exceptional year. With the proper grooming he is the future of that team. I hope he doesn't get too discouraged.

If Doc Rivers has the guts to go big and bench Ray Allen for James Posey, the Celtics can win this series. Paul Pierce will be a double team magnet in this lineup, leaving Posey wide open early and often. Posey is a reliable winner and Allen plays defense about as well as a broom. Give Posey the chance and he will put down open jumpers. And added attention to Pierce will only create more opportunities for Garnett.

I've got very little to say about the Western Conference Finals. The Spurs make me so bored I want to punch myself. It's starting to look like an easy win for the Lakers. This could all change in San Antonio but don't be surprised if this series only lasts 5 games. 

I hate Manu Ginobili. I'm convinced he thinks basketball is soccer with your hands. He's my least favourite basketball player and it's not even close. 

That's all I've go to say for now. If you love/hate what I said or if you just want to be my friend feel free to shoot me a line at jamespmcdonagh@gmail.com. 

Thanks for reading,

James