Q-U-A-G-M-I-R-E

I was planning on writing a rundown of the Celtics-Pistons game last night but the first half alone was too disheartening to warrant any serious attention to the rest of the game. How can the Celtics play so inconsistently and actually have a chance to win the NBA Championship? The idea of Doc Rivers getting rewarded for the job he's doing is kind of depressing. There was really nothing of note during the actual game so here are two non-game moments I thoroughly enjoyed:

1. The Pistons' mock Poltergeist pre-game video was so bizarre/disturbing. Highlights of the Pistons' previous Conference Finals appearances played over eerie music and then turned into a fuzzy tv with Rasheed Wallace sitting on the couch yelling "We're baaaaaaack!" with a huge, toothy grin that quickly turned into a demonic laugh. I wasn't sure whether to laugh hysterically or hide in the closet. All I know is I can't imagine any possible situation in which I would want Rasheed Wallace laughing at me.

2. Mark Jackson ripped on Jeff Van Gundy for using the word "quagmire" (8 whole letters? Way too much for the viewing public) and that lead to this wonderful Van Gundy rant:

"Q-U-A-G-M-I-R-E! I had to take my SATs to get into college! Who took yours for you, Mark Jackson?"

I love Jeff Van Gundy. I don't think there will ever be a more awkward basketball commentator. It's almost unfair to the real fans to hear Van Gundy. He's such a whiney dork that he must be giving false hopes to thousands of overeducated, jaded basketball fans every day. No, complaining about the current state of the NBA will not get you a job. Oh, dear. Why did I go and write that? Now I have to reevaluate this whole get rich quick scheme blog.