As much as I decry our culture of convenience and immediacy and pine for the days of payphones and pagers, I do have to acknowledge how neat it is to have all of this technology present in every day life. If I wanted to watch Manchester United play a cup game in the 90s, I would have needed a satellite dish and some random, prohibitively expensive pay-per-view service. Today I can watch it on ESPN+ which is part of my Disney+ package which comes included with my cell phone plan. So I downloaded the Disney+ app and, aw shucks, I don’t remember the password. That’s okay, I can just search through my text history by typing in Disney and finding the time I asked my wife for the password 16 months ago. Now I can just watch a soccer game played in England on my phone! If you look past the numerous atrocities and civil rights violations happening around the country, modern life is pretty cool.
(Later that day...)
No matter what I do, the Disney+ app won't let me log in. They spend all these billions of dollars on this technology that they insist is essential to our way of life and can't even be bothered to make it run properly. And don't even get me started on Paramount! I just loooooove watching Champions League knockout games with the sound out of sync by several seconds! Wankers!
(A few hours later...)
OK, so the game was actually on a different streaming service that I already had on my phone and I was already logged in and my team had one of its most embarrassing losses in modern history. Fuck me, I’ll just go back to being 12 and my team winning all the time.
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