In the 1950's

There was network television. For some of us, that's still the case. Clearly the cablephiles reading are already lost, therefore I will present information relevant to your brain.

Best Comedies:

NBC

ABC

FOX

CBS

This really is the ugliest television category possible. People are so used to there being "comedy" on tv that they don't realize there isn't any. I don't mean isn't as in 'there aren't 3 funny shows in television', but otherwise take that statement as literally as possible. There may not be 4 funny shows on TV, let alone network tv, but this list merely reflects an understanding of the following:

NBC has the funniest show, and is probably the only network channel with more than one funny show. CBS is actually so blatantly horrific that I would be fine with putting the CW and whatever UPN has turned into in your area well ahead of CBS in this category. I don't even know of any comedies on the CW, but when the guy from Two and a Half Men (who's not Charlie Sheen!) is winning an emmy, Ray Romano is bigger than the CEO, and we're dealing with the channel that is bringing a Jenna Elfman project to the small screen while still maintaining the best ratings, I simply have no sympathy for CBS.

Sports Coverage:

ABC

CBS

FOX

NBC

FOX is so cheesy and will never get any better. You know how they have those super awkward shots of football players faces as they introduce themselves, then have nothing to say for like 7 seconds? Now they have that for robots! FOX has an animated robot acting awkward and blocking a quarter of the screen during a sporting event. It makes no sense to me. NBC is terrible and ruins everything they touch sports wise. Al Michaels, Marv Albert, Bob Costas, it just gets worse and worse. Even the Olympics make my veins dry up and turn to chili peppers.

Best Dramas:

ABC

NBC

FOX

CBS

I'm putting ABC first because of Lost and Life on Mars, but really because they and FOX are the only ones that take chances with their dramas, and FOX's "chances" are usually the same thing. True-Flash Forward, an ABC show I have no plans of ever watching-looks a lot like Lost, but ABC has had tons of semi-risky almost decent shows, easily placing itself ahead of:

NBC (Law & Order, Law & Order: Cum Police, Law & Order: The Donofrio Hovercraft, Nerds, This is Arquette), CBS (CSI: MXDL, Num 3 Ers, and a multitude of shows where fancy, and it has to be fancy groups of law-enforcement types successfully solve murders while trying to remain sexy), and FOX (24).

News Coverage:

NBC

CBS

ABC

FOX

Truly, there are three 3rd place finishers, and one 4th. NBC is owned by GE, which has its hands in so many things I doubt I'd even be informed about it. ABC is owned by Disney, and CBS by Viacom. Brian Williams is superior to Katie Couric and Charlie Gibson, and while I used to give FOX a glimmer of credit for airing The Simpsons and Seinfeld while other networks aired local and national news, the beast now shows it's own combo of local news+TMZ. Murdoch.

Reality Shows:

ABC

NBC

CBS

FOX

I don't like reality shows. I do however like Jeopardy, which airs on ABC and certainly fits in this category, since most network reality shows are game shows revolving around a prize anyway. NBC gets second place simply because I don't know of any reality shows on this channel. CBS gets third because it's not FOX, and 4th goes to the makers of Temptation Island, Nanny 911, American Idol (I consider this one bad, have your own opinions), and trying to air Celebrity Mole after the original broadcasted on ABC.