Lobster in just 20 minutes!

Three steps to maybe not sucking so much when Mariano Rivera pitches to you:

1. Always swing at the 1st pitch. Don't fool yourself into thinking a guy who's played since the '20's is tossing the first one in the dirt.

2. Stop trying to hit home runs.

3. Never swing at any pitch thrown on a 0-2 or 1-2 count.

4. Bunt

Without further ado, my NBA regular season predictions for 2009-10, with each team's X-Factor in parentheses.

ATLANTIC

Boston (Kevin Garnett)

Philadelphia (Elton Brand)

New York (Larry Hughes)

Toronto (Hedo Turkoglu)

New Jersey (Courtney Lee/Chris Douglas-Roberts)

CENTRAL

Chicago (Joakim Noah)

Cleveland (Shaq I guess; I want to say Mo Williams, but we're trying to be reputable here at br)

Indiana (Granger can't do it all-Hibbert, Head, and Ford)

Detroit (Ben Gordon)

Milwaukee (Mbah a Moute?)

SOUTHEAST

Orlando (Vince Carter)

Atlanta (Al Horford or Marvin Williams sure, but this is the resurrection)

Washington (Gilbert Arenas)

Miami (Michael Beasley)

Charlotte (Tyson Chandler)

NORTHWEST

Portland (The presence of Steve Blake pales in comparison to that of Juwan Howard)

Denver (Kenyon Martin)

Utah (Andrei Kirilenko)

Oklahoma City (Jeff Green)

Minnesota (Corey Brewer)

PACIFIC

L.A. Lakers (Ron Artest, Shannon Brown, Adam Morrison-in that order)

Phoenix Suns (Channing Frye)

L.A. Clippers (Baron Davis)

Golden State Warriors (Monta Ellis)

Sacramento Kings (___)

SOUTHWEST

Dallas (Shawn Marion)

New Orleans (Emeka Okafor)

San Antonio (Tim Duncan)

Houston (Tracy McGrady)

Memphis (Allen Iverson)