Prediction Time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EAST
Chicago vs Indiana
The Pacers are in the playoffs you say? Are they still playing with upwards of 3 white guys on the court at once? How many Australians still get substantial minutes? Whether or not Austin Croshere still plays basketball is beyond me, but I'm pretty sure the Bulls could win without having the best point guard in the league.
Chicago, 4-1
Miami vs Philadelphia
What a turnaround for a team that just last year was the least popular pro sports team in its city. Who am I talking about? Both teams! See how that goes? That's what the kids call a merge.
I'm fairly certain last year the 76ers drew the worst attendance in the league, behind even Minnesota. Now they get to play the most despised team this side of the 1980s Detroit Pistons, and not even the ghost of Eric Snow himself could help.
Miami, 4-0
Boston vs New York
Originally I believed this to be the worst possible first round matchup for the Knicks. Then I decided Carmelo Anthony is going to drop over 30 in multiple games. If the Knicks can hold Garnett to a reasonable FG%, they have a shot. Jermaine O'Neal and Shaq won't do shit. I forsee Chauncey Billups psyching out Rajon Rondo, Ray Allen having a game where he makes like 9 threes, and another couple where he shots like 15%. Melo outscores Pierce, and Amare does something. I mean, he has to9 do something right? Any Landry Fields points are merely a bonus.
New York, 4-2
Orlando vs Atlanta
Orlando thought getting Hedo back would be the move they needed to get back in the NBA Finals and win a championship? Congrats, now you're the #4 seed and you have to play a team desperate to prove they belong among the top teams in the east. Orlando swept Atlanta in the playoffs last year, but that was a different Orlando team. This one has Turkoglu, Reddick, Arenas, and Anderson. Ugh. The Hawks are ready to prove they can make it back to the East semifinals and lose in 5 games this year!
Atlanta, 4-3
WEST
San Antonio vs Memphis
See, the problem is Memphis doesn't have Rudy Gay. Rudy Gay is from Baltimore and in the NBA, thereby inherently awesome. Zack Randolph is tearing it up you say? Alrighty...
The Spurs counter in front court silliness with one Mr. Antonio McDyess. In case you don't know, that means they now have at least 3 players whose pacts with the Devil have yet to expire. Teams with McDyess don't lose in the first round man, are you nuts? The Grizzlies win one in San Antonio, then lose by 31 points at home.
San Antonio, 4-2
Los Angeles vs New Orleans
Phil Jackson is about to have a jarring realization that maybe Derek Fisher isn't the guy to start at PG for a championship team in 2011. Chris Paul is going to make this guy look silly. I mean, Fisher barely plays defense against mediocre PGs. Fortunately for me, this means getting to see some serious (Maryland alert!) Steve Blake action, contingent of course on him overcoming the chicken pox. What a sheltered childhood that guy led. The Lakers are too big and too mean, and Hornets leading scorer David West isn't even playing.
Los Angeles, 4-0
Dallas vs Portland
Lot of noise around Portland pulling an upset and Dallas flaking out for the umpteenth year. I have only one point: This is not the early 1990s. Portland won't win.
Dallas, 4-2
Oklahoma City vs Denver
Division rivals hit the hardwood in a battle of teams who traded awesome players away. While Raymond Felton now leads the Nuggets in assists and steals for the year, the team's leader in ppg is still Carmelo Anthony. Sure, the Thunder will miss Jeff Green...when they get to the 2nd round. These Knicks castoffs are going to feel the playoff pressure, and crumble in the face of Kevin Durant scoring like all the time.
Oklahoma City, 4-1
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