Dear Cinema Enthusiast,
I just want to say I really admire what great lengths you go to in your effort to ensure you never go a moment without entertainment. Even on a crowded train at rush hour, complete with a young mother struggling to find a comfortable place to stand with her baby in a stroller, you bravely took up two seats so you could maximize your viewing experience. Not only did you spread your legs out- essentially taking up a good chunk of yet another seat- for maximum comfort, you exhibited true dedication by occupying an entire seat with your tiny book bag and DVD case. After all, if you're going to watch a movie on a portable DVD player the size of a small book, it really is essential to take every possible measure to protect your personal bubble.
I hope you were not so engrossed by fast forwarding to the good scenes in Heat that you didn't notice my expressions of appreciation. It was truly an honor to be in your presence as I sat much closer to you than necessary, slowly creeping over into your space as you finally resorted to squeezing your legs together and ultimately crossing them over in a fashion I thought was only achievable by contortionists. I was especially impressed by how upset you were at me for invading your space. Only a true artist such as yourself could be this oblivious to the irony the situation. Even as we entered Manhattan and the train reached critical mass, you kept your focus firmly on watching your movie on a screen the size of a wallet. If only we could all be like you. You sir, are a hero to us all.
Sincerely,
Wish I was as classy as you
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