How many miles does it take to get a self-esteem badge?

The marathon was cool on Sunday. I actually ended up in the area where all the runners left the park after they finished and I looked in admiration as they recuperated in their space wraps. A lot of them were wearing medals, which is totally cool when you just finished a marathon and you're all decked out in running gear surrounded by other runners. You know when it's not cool? When you're wearing a suit on your way to work. I counted no less than twenty people yesterday walking around in street clothes rocking their marathon medals. That was literally so yesterday. Now go back to your regular life and stop acting so smug. I'd offer the customary "do you want a medal or something?" put down but you did get a medal. So chill the eff out and stop acting like you solved world hunger. Go back to trading stocks and neglecting your children. I'll acknowledge your athletic prowess when you run a supermarathon and live to talk about it.