Dear Naive Tourist,
That was adorable how you had your kid on your shoulders in the train. Better yet, it was a totally harmless way to entertain your child. As we all know, the MTA's claim to fame is the smooth handling of its subway cars. It is 100% safe to uneasily rest a child on your fat shoulders, leaving his head a mere six inches away from the roof. What could possibly go wrong? Thank you for showing us the kind of decision-making prowess that goes into successful parenting. You are an example to us all.
Sincerely,
Child Protective Services
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