No no, not this!!!

I will really try to keep my posts relating in any way shape or form to baseball to an absolute minimum after today. Hopefully this will also be the last time I choose to use the phrase "way, shape, or form" in print ever again as well.

I played pool instead of watching the All-Star game yesterday, which apparently went to 15 innings and unbeknownst to me was still on when I got home after dropping both games of cutthroat. Still I haven't the faintest regret, especially since they never got to the point where second basemen started pitching, which I'm pretty sure is the entire point and master plan of baseball that no one has actually realized yet.

On what Scott Van Pelt deemed "the slowest sports day of the year", baseball analysts have seized on this game as a clear symptomatic problem of what's wrong with baseball. "The system must be changed!!!" was a common theme echoed today. The national league manager Clint Hurdle (of the Rockies???) claimed he was forced to do "Chinese arithmetic" during the game.
Terry Franconia (AL manager from the Red Sox) stated that "the last two hours weren't even that much fun".

Wow. Managers having to make decisions, while staying up past midnight. Unexpected things happening in a baseball game, causing a mild amount of surprise and indecision. Dear God I knew the Mayans were right. You can all book your 2012 deluxe spa treatments now, because the world is ending. The all star game was a little wacky, and thus America's pastime has imploded, leaving behind a bloody trail of John Kruks and Mike Lowells who still yearn for those simpler times when men sipped highballs at 2 in the afternoon, blacks didn't run track at the Olympics, and baseball managers never needed to move in a game unless it was to avoid spitting on their knee.

Sometimes I feel like John McCain is an omnipotent spirit far greater than any of us could have imagined, and has pervaded the minds and souls of everyone on television, filling the universe with sweet 'ol conventional wisdom.