Thursday, October 2, 2008

Somebody give that girl a thesaurus

Not like any competent men trust Paris Hilton but, rest assured, if Paris Hilton says she loves you, she might not mean it. She just doesn't have a very advanced vocabulary. As she proudly explains on her Five Favorite Films list for Rotten Tomatoes, Paris Hilton loves a lot of things.  If you don't feel like clicking the link, her deep understanding of cinema can be nicely summed up in her describing Edward Scissorhands as having a "really cute story." Well, maybe it's just a testament to Johnny Depp's star power. He is indeed a dreamboat.

Back to my main point, I'd count how many times she says "love" but I'm not that bored or patient. I know these are her favorite films but she seriously needs to learn some new adjectives. If I ever have sex with Paris Hilton, I formally grant all of my friends permission to strike me dead on the spot. Does that imply said friend/friends would be present while I had sex with Paris Hilton. Hey, anything goes when you're a billionaire, right? Seriously though, please kill me if I even get close to this. You should probably smack me for even talking about it. 

Sidenote: I will never understand how Jon Lovitz didn't make Edmund's worst comedian list. Oh, still being relatively famous is a requirement. It all makes sense now.

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